Kevin Tsai released a new book last November, The Emotional Quotient Lesson of Kevin Tsai: Live for Yourself for One Time. In less than half a year, the best-selling book sold over 150,000 copies within Taiwan alone. 

He begins the narration by casting doubt on the conventional thoughts of “keeping your temper,” and “being positive,” instead proposing that emotional quotient should not be about torturing oneself, but living freely.

According to Business Today, over 90% of people want to live for themselves, but a mere 10% of people consider themselves capable to achieving that feat.

Why is it so difficult? Kevin Tsai points to three main problems.

Problem 1: Not knowing what you truly want

“During my book tour, the phrase I’m most often asked to write is, ‘be yourself,’” says Kevin. But do people really know what that entails? When he throws that question back to his readers, asking them “what do you want to do?” they invariably fail to answer, or even look confused. 

Our notions of success are largely set by conventional societal expectations, being top of school, being rich, being successful, etc. These “labels,” as Kevin calls them, are unconsciously brought upon us when we demand ourselves to “be thinner,” “write a more popular post.” But why should we?

Counselling psychiatrist Wei-chao Huang of the Taiwan Institute of Psychology analyses, that people who try to live by labels “tend to believe in the positive impact brought by maintaining a specific image, and are unable to give up these advantages.” Yet these labels can also cause us to lose focus on our true needs. 

Problem 2: Avoiding negative emotions

To truly be oneself, we need to face our inner emotions. What are they, where do they come from and how do we deal with them when they come?

When misfortune befalls us, we might be tempted to think “why me?” Kevin suggests an alternative “try asking yourselves, what now?” Instead of why, ask yourselves how? This will motivate you to take action and resolve your woes instead of wallowing in them.

Business Today also found that people who can express themselves better have a higher chance of being true to themselves. “Don’t just tell yourself to be positive,”Kevin emphasizes. Negative emotions should be your motivation to figure out your true needs.

Problem 3: Easily swayed by others

So-called “wise words” such as “if you mind too much then it’s your loss,” or “taking a step back is taking a step forward,” are “plain rubbish” says Kevin. These phrases may make sense, but only at the surface level. If you take them to heart, placing your trust in other people’s words and labels, then you can never find yourself. 

And so, what should we do to fight free of the labels and find our true selves?

You can be a little different after 50. Be young at heart and you can live an elegant and fulfilling life.

By now, you should have a better understanding of time and money management. Let us enjoy life, fulfill our dreams and live for ourselves!

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